


The Ultimate Mistake Was Making This Bitch

by ETNMystic



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Escape the Night (Web Series), Our ETerNity Together (Web Series AU)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:48:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26081452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ETNMystic/pseuds/ETNMystic
Summary: So I found TheEmoAuthor's DR/ETN groupchat fic and I decided why not take OET/ETN/DR and various other things and blend them into a horrific group chat/Discord server fic that I will probably end up regretting.AU where they're all teenagers at Hope's Peak.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 7





	1. The Ultimate Mistake is Born

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [You Fucked Up, PianoBaka](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16741219) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account). 



_**Kaede and 15 other people have entered this group chat/server thing.** _

#general:

 **Kaede:** So we're all clear on what's happening?

 **Kokichi:** Yup!

 **Kaede:** That was a lie, wasn't it Kokichi?

 **Kokichi:** Yup!

 **Maki:** At this point, I'm not even surprised. Just homicidal.

 **Rantaro:** So what's this whole thing for, **@Kaede**?

 **Kaede:** We're gonna have new people coming in the school. So I created this group chat/server so we could bond with them and become friends.

 **Gonta:** Oh! Gonta love new friends!

 **Shuichi:** I've heard we're going to get a few other Ultimate Detectives. 

**Kaito:** No. I think it's just one. No Ultimate Astronauts, but we're getting an Ultimate Mystic. 

**Angie:** The only true mystics are those who speak to Atua.

 **Kiyo:** There is beauty in speaking to other deities as well. 

**Tsumugi:** No other Ultimate Cosplayers....*sigh* 

**Himiko:** No other Ultimate Mages either.

 **Kaito:** Don't worry. I've heard we're getting a few Sorceresses and a Witch. 

**Himiko:** Nyeeah. I guess that's okay.

 **Keebo:** I hear we're getting an Ultimate Engineer.

 **Miu:** Fuck yeah! Someone I can talk to about my kinky shit.

 **Kirumi:** You should not assume such a thing before you meet the person, Miu.

 **Miu:** Hey! Engineers are kinky people. I should know. 

**Tenko:** I hope they don't bring in any more degenerate males!

 **Kokichi:** Oh look. The Ultimate Lesbian has arrived. Anyways, we're getting some that have double Ultimates. 

**Kaede:** Where did you hear that?

 **Kokichi:** I have my sources.

 **Kaede:** Which are?

 **Kokichi:** Blackmailing Succi.

 **Shuichi:** We agreed that I'd never be called that ever again.

 **Kokichi** : Yeah, that was a lie. I also heard we're getting at least one person who won't tell us their talent. They got scouted, but the talent was kept top secret. Again, blackmailing Succi does wonders. I also heard one of the doubles has a gambler talent along with one of the kids from Class 78, and the second one's got a cold shoulder. 

**Ryoma:** I heard we're getting an Ultimate Troublemaker.

 **Miu:** Ooh! Sounds kinky. ;)

 **Kaito:** Not everything has to be kinky.

 **Kaede:** Well, as class rep, I went to the meetings about this, and I can assure you that a lot of that is true. It seems we'll also be getting more students over the next, maybe, week or so, so we can add them here as we see fit. I can start making different channels and categories for chatting.

 **Kirumi:** If you wish for assistance, Kaede, I can always lend a hand.

 **Kaede:** That's sweet of you Kirumi, but you really don't need to.

 **Kirumi:** It is part of my philosophy of selfless devotion to serve everyone. 

**Kokichi:** Oh! That reminds me! Will you bake me cookies, Kirumommy?

 **Kirumi:**.....Almost everyone.

 **Kaede:** Well, we should go get ready for bed. It's late and the first few classes should be arriving tomorrow. Good night, everyone!

 **Maki:** Night.

 **Shuichi:** Good night.

 **Himiko:** Nyeeah.

 **Tsumugi:** Nighty-night!

 **Gonta:** Gonta wish you good night!

 **Angie:** May Atua bless your dreams!

 **Kiyo:** Get your beauty sleep.

 **Kaito:** Night.

 **Tenko:** Good night to everyone, except for you degenerate males!

 **Ryoma:** Night.

 **Rantaro:** Night.

 **Keebo:** Sleep well. 

**Kirumi:** I bid you all good night.

 **Miu:** Lemme know if you get any wet dreams.

_**Kaede and 14 others are offline.** _

**Kokichi:** Ne-he-he. Time to cause some chaos.....


	2. Classes 77-84

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi sneaks in the other classes.

**Time: Midnight.**

#general

_**Mystic, Alice, Chiaki, Celeste, and a shit-ton more have been added this group chat/server thing. All others are offline.** _

**Kokichi:** Time for a bit of messing around. 

_**Kokichi has changed Kaede's name to PianoBaka** _

_**Kokichi has changed Shuichi's name to BigSadSucci** _

_**Kokichi has changed Rantaro's name to FreeshAvocadoo** _

_**Kokichi has changed Ryoma's name to ThatDepressedFuck** _

_**Kokichi has changed Kirumi's name to Kirumommy** _

_**Kokichi has changed Angie's name to AtuaStan** _

_**Kokichi has changed Tenko's name to UltimateLesbian** _

_**Kokichi has changed Kiyo's name to Kokichi'sDaddy** _

_**Kokichi has changed Miu's name to ThatFilthyCumDumpster** _

_**Kokichi has changed Gonta's name to BugDaddy** _

_**Kokichi has changed Kaito's name to Starboi** _

_**Kokichi has changed Tsumugi's name to WeebiestWeeb** _

**_Kokichi has changed Keebo's name to BeepBoopAhoge_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Maki's name to FruitNinja_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Himiko's name to MageofNyeeah_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Ryota's name to InsomniacArtist_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Teruteru's name to PervertedBiDefault_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Mahiru's name to WaitSheExists?_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Peko's name to ICanSwingMySwordSword_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Ibuki's name to ADHDPersonified_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Hiyoko's name to BananaPigtails_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Mikan's name to FanServiceNurse_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Nekomaru's name to MetalMan_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Gundam's name to HamsterDaddy_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Nagito's name to HopeBagelDaddy_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Chiaki's name to SleepyGamerBot_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Akane's name to IMHUNGRY_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Fuyuhiko's name to BabyGangsta_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Sonia's name to SerialKillerPrincess_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Hajime's name to ReserveAhoge_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Souda's name to UltimateSimp_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Sayaka's name to HatsunePoppu_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Leon's name to NickelbackWannabe_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Chihiro's name to BabeyProgrammer_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Mondo's name to ButterMyToast_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Kiyotaka's name to ASchoolEnvironment_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Hifumi's name to SmutMan_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Celeste's name to FrenchGothicLolita_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Sakura's name to OnionOgre_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Mukuro's name to CallOfBooty_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Junko's name to BearTails_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Kyoko's name to CuppaNoodles_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Hina's name to DonutGirl_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Byakuya's name to SugarDaddy_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Hiro's name to WeedDealer_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Toko's name to TogamiSimp_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Genocider's name to SlashySlash_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Naegi's name to OGAhoge_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Bretman's name to ThisThiccBitch_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Nikita's name to TryMeBitch_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Manny's name to BitchWhat_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Rosanna's name to UltimateCinnamonRoll_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Safiya's name to NotSophia_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Colleen's name to DiscoDuchess_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Matpat's name to UltimateNEEEEEEEEEEEERD_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Teala's name to YouTried_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Roi's name to WrecklessCinnamonRoll_ **

**_Kokichi has changed JC's name to ChillTFOut_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Tyler's name to OOP_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Andrea's name to BisexualVampire_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Alex's name to HoelessRomantic_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Gabbie's name to HeartlessOstrichFeathers_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Tana's name to ThatThiccHoe_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Liza's name to LilBrownGirl_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Destorm's name to CRBF_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Jesse's name to GIMMEALLURMONEY_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Lauren's name to BloodyDIY_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Eva's name to EEVAH_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Oli's name to RootyTootyPointNShooty_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Lele's name to LeeLee_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Tim's name to IveLostMyWallet_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Matt's name to LeleSimp_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Sierra's name to RoseARee_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Glozell's name to ZipBapBahDooBopBaZoopBamBoom_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Justine's name to SixFeetUnder_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Andrea's name to DontYouKnowThatUrToxic_**

**_Kokichi has changed Shane's name to CanceledTacoBellSimp_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Joey's name to TheBigGay_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Mystic's name to UltimateSongbird_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Alice's name to SpaceyGirl_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Delta's name to NerdGirl_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Envy's name to AliceSimp_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Ivy's name to PirateLesbian_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Bri's name to FishTheCrybaby_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Cyrille's name to HiI'mGay_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Cheney's name to HiGayI'mCheney_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Clover's name to FourLeaves_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Iris' name to HistoryBabey_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Candy Pop's name to StickSimp_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Lydia's name to QueenOfGoths_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Theo's name to CAKE_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Mayari's name to DumbassMerperson_**

**_Kokichi has changed Marianne's name to FaerieBabey_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Beetlejuice's name to SwingInAllDirections_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Kerilyn's name to Meme_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Calliope's name to TheChokey_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Riley's name to SpeedAngel_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Nicholas' name to SantaDaddy_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Sarah's name to MakeupDisaster_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Marvin's name to PansyMan_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Arthur's name to NotSebastian_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Alison's name to WerewolfMeat_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Siobhann's name to PurgatoryMistress_ **

**_Kokichi has changed AJ's name to JetpackGirl_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Circe's name to GoneWithTheWitch_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Grizel's name to ScotlandSimp_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Carol's name to DontchaKNOW_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Lennan's name to CrazySugarDaddy_**

**_Kokichi has changed Asaph's name to HoarderMan_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Horace's name to Time4Tea_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Lily-Rose's name to DoubleFlowers_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Victoria's name to BritishEmo_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Genevieve's name to SpiralBooks_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Cecelia's name to RedHairedPocketwatch_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Emmy's name to FreakyBirdLady_ **

**_Kokichi has changed Kokichi's name to NeHeHe_ **

**NeHeHe:** Have fun trying to figure out who's who, bitches! XD

_**NeHeHe is offline** _


	3. Cause and Effect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone checks on the group and......let's see how things play out.

**Time: 11 am**

_**UltimateSongbird, PianoBaka, HiI'mGay, and 7 others are online** _

#general

**PianoBaka:** Uhhhhh.....

 **HiI'mGay:** Is this supposed to happen?

 **PianoBaka:** No....

 **UltimateSongbird:** Whoever changed my name better change it back RIGHT NOW or we're gonna have some problems.

 **ThatThiccHoe:** I mean...whoever changed mine isn't wrong.

 **HiI'mGay:** Same here.

 **UltimateSimp:** What the hell is a simp?!

 **LeeLee:** That's your biggest concern right now?

 **UltimateSimp:** Well, I'm _sorry_ if I wanna know what a simp is before I decide if it's accurate for me or not.

 **BananaPigtails:** You're totally a Sonia simp, you pig!

 **BabyGangsta:**.....Who changed my name? I just wanna _talk._

 **WeedDealer:** I mean, it's not like I _wouldn't_ sell you weed. I just don't think I'd _want_ to. 

**PianoBaka:** That definitely wouldn't fly past Hope's Peak's rules. 

**HoelessRomantic:** I think whoever changed my name made a typo. 

**HoelessRomantic:** It's probably HopelessRomantic.

 **PianoBaka:** Not if it's who I think it is.

 **PianoBaka:** Anyway, I'm gonna make an introductions channel so that we can know who's who. Give me a second. 

* * *

#introductions

****PianoBaka:**** Template:  
My Name is:   
I'm in Class:  
My Ultimate title is:  
Some things you should know about me are:

 **PianoBaka:** I'll start.  
My Name is: Kaede Akamatsu  
I'm in Class: 76  
My Ultimate title is: The Ultimate Pianist  
Some things you should know about me are: My favorite composer is Debussy and I am the Class 76 Representative. 

* * *

#general

_**NeHeHe is online.** _

**NeHeHe:** Are you all enjoying my little nicknames for you?

 **UltimateSongbird:** Change mine right now.

 **NeHeHe:** Why should I? It fits.

 **UltimateSongbird:** How would you even know?

 **NeHeHe:** I overheard you singing in your room. Is that why you got scouted?

 **UltimateSongbird:** No, and it's none of your business to know why I was scouted, you little shit.

 **NeHeHe:** Oh? I was told you were the sweet one of your class. Maybe I should make you my personal little songbird, complete with the birdcage.

 **UltimateSongbird:**......I swear to God, I am going to strangle you. 

**NeHeHe:** Aww! But that's Maki's job. 

**UltimateSongbird:** Then I'll just tell Maki to strangle you. 

**NeHeHe:** Ha! Good luck figuring out which one she is.

_**FruitNinja is online.** _

**FruitNinja:** Do you have a death wish, Kokichi?

 **UltimateSongbird:** Oh? Are you Maki?

 **FruitNinja:** Yeah? Why do you ask?

 **UltimateSongbird:** Can you strangle Kokichi for me please?

 **FruitNinja:** I can. What did he do?

 ** **UltimateSongbird:**** Look at the convo above.

 **FruitNinja:**.......

 **FruitNinja:** Yeah, I can do that. 

**NeHeHe:** Aww. You can't take a joke?

 **UltimateSongbird:** It's not a joke when it's my worst fucking fear, you prick!

 **NeHeHe:** That's kind of a pathetic fear, you know. It's not like it's actually gonna happen.

 **UltimateSongbird:** You threatened to do it to me just two minutes ago!

 **NeHeHe:** And you think I'd go through with it.....why?

 **UltimateSongbird:** Because you're you.

_**NerdGirl is online.** _

**NerdGirl:** Is _this_ why my phone was dinging like crazy last night?

 **NeHeHe:** Oh? Is there a ghost in here?

 **NerdGirl:** Not funny, whoever the heck you are!

 **UltimateSongbird:** Hey, Delta. Don't mind him. He's just the Ultimate Lil Shit.

 **NerdGirl:**.......

 **NerdGirl:** I _would_ say to mind your language, but I'll let it slide this time. 

**NeHeHe:** Who are you talking to, Mystic?

 **UltimateSongbird: @ **FruitNinja**** You still up to strangling him?

 **FruitNinja:** Big time. 

**NerdGirl:** Wait, wait, wait! Violence is _not_ the answer!

_**UltimateCinnamonRoll is online.** _

**UltimateCinnamonRoll:** What the heck is going on?!

 **UltimateSimp:** I'm actually not sure myself.

**_TheBigGay is online._ **

**TheBigGay:** Well _this_ is new.

 **UltimateSongbird:** Maki's gonna strangle Kokichi for me. 

**NerdGirl:** I've told you; violence is _not_ the answer!

 **FruitNinja:** It is with _this_ guy. 

_**Kirumommy is online.** _

**Kirumommy:** If someone would be so kind as to change my nickname please.

 **NeHeHe:** But it's true!

 **PianoBaka:** Just change her nickname.

 **FruitNinja:** Before I strangle you even more.

 **NeHeHe:** Okay fiiiiiiine. You're no fun.

_**NeHeHe has changed Kirumommy's name to TojoSiwa** _

**NeHeHe:** How about now?

 **TojoSiwa:** It's relatively better, thank you.

 **UltimateSongbird:** You're still not getting out of Maki strangling you.

 **PianoBaka:** OK! Before we strangle anyone, I suggest that we get this out of the way; who are the class reps? I'm the rep for Class 76.

 **UltimateSongbird:** I'm somehow the rep for Class 82.

 **PianoBaka:** Great! :D I'll start making a private channel for us to discuss things. 

**UltimateSongbird:** Sounds good to me. 

_**SleepyGamerBot,** **CuppaNoodles, and 5 others are online** _

**SleepyGamerBot:** Oh. This is new.

 **BisexualVampire:** I mean.......

 **WerewolfMeat:** I don't understand.

 **CuppaNoodles:** Kokichi is the embodiment of chaos.

 **BritishEmo:** I'm not surprised.

 **EEVAH:** I already hate whoever did this.

 **NotSophia:** I guess I can live with this.

 **PianoBaka:** Are any of you class reps?

 **BritishEmo:** Yup. 84.

 **WerewolfMeat:** 83.

 **SleepyGamerBot:** 77.

 **BisexualVampire:** 80.

 **CuppaNoodles:** 78.

 **NotSophia:** 79.

 **EEVAH:** 81\. 

**PianoBaka:** Awesome! That's all of the class reps. I'm gonna make a private channel for us to discuss class matters.

 **CuppaNoodles:** But first I'd like to make a motion that Kokichi gets his nicknaming privileges revoked.

 **NeHeHe:** Wait, what?!

 **UltimateSongbird:** I second that.

 **NeHeHe:** C'mon, Misty! It was just a joke.

 **NerdGirl:** Thirded.

 **NeHeHe:** So only a second to the motion?

 **NerdGirl:** Cut that out!

 **BabyGangsta:** Yeah, that's a fourth on me.

_**DumbassMerperson is online.** _

**DumbassMerperson:** Who changed my name? And what are we voting on?

 **UltimateSongbird:** Whether or not we should revoke **@NeHeHe** 's nicknaming privileges. He gave you yours.

 **DumbassMerperson:**.........

 **DumbassMerperson:** I mean, he's not wrong with mine. 

**TojoSiwa:** I shall fifth the motion.

 **NeHeHe:** Literally no one here can take a joke. 

**PianoBaka:** Okay, we'll take the privileges away for now.

 **NeHeHe:**.....Son of a bitch.

 **NerdGirl:** Language!

_**NeHeHe is offline.** _

**UltimateSongbird:** So when do classes start?

 **SleepyGamerBot:** We don't really have to go to class.

 **HiI'mGay:** Seriously?

 **SleepyGamerBot:** As long as we work on our Ultimate for the evaluations at the end of the semester.

 **DumbassMerperson:** Thank God. I'm gonna go binge-watch Power Rangers again. 

**UltimateSongbird:** Which ones?

 **DumbassMerperson:** All of the above.

 **BananaPigtails:** There's no way you can watch every single one in one sitting.

 **DumbassMerperson:** Bitch. Watch me.

_**DumbassMerperson is offline.** _

**PianoBaka:** Okay, well if anyone needs me, I'll be in my research lab.

_**PianoBaka is offline.** _

**SleepyGamerBot:** I'm gonna go to bed.

 **NotSophia:** It's 11:20 am.

 **SleepyGamerBot:** Time is just a social construct.

_**SleepyGamerBot is offline.** _

**TojoSiwa:** Should any of you require my services, please do not hesitate to approach me.

 **EEVAH:** Good to know. I'm gonna go do.....journalism....things....

 **NotSophia:** Oh! That reminds me, **@EEVAH**. We need to meet together to discuss some of the recent downtown robberies and do some investigation work with Matpat.

 **EEVAH:** Great idea! Meet me in the library after lunch!

 **NotSophia:** Will do.

_**EEVAH and NotSophia are offline.** _

**HiI'mGay:** I'm gonna go to the greenhouse and be gay.

_**HiI'mGay is offline.** _

**UltimateSongbird:** I think it's safe to say most of us are going offline.

_**Almost everyone is offline.** _

_10 minutes later._

**_CAKE is online._ **

**CAKE:** CAKE?! WHERE?!


End file.
